Stepping back

Well, I don't think I'm going to make it this year. I have 21,315 words, which leaves more than half the novel to go, and the month is nearly over. Possible? Yes, absolutely. Likely to happen? ...Um.

Here, instead of rewriting my entire thought process about it, this is the thread I had about it on facebook this morning:

Rachel is going to lose.

Alicia: NO YOU ARE NOT. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A WINNER. ALWAYS.

Andy: Finish it anyway?

Nicole: No you will not. You are always a winner. No matter what. And remember, Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing, writing, writing. No matter what you do you write, write, write :)


Rachel: It just doesn't seem like I can maintain my sanity and my baby and get enough sleep and write 28,000 words in the next 8 days. Not to mention participating in Thanksgiving, going to the temple, and hosting a bridal shower. I slacked off at the beginning of the month and it's kiling me now. :(

Rachel: It would just be so embarrassing to quit and lose after three wins. One the other hand, it might well be so unpleasant to put forth the effort to win at this point that it cancels that out.

I really want to write this book right now, though.... I'm halfway through. Maybe I really should keep writing next month, and just try to finish it with the year...

Rachel: (Last night I was all like, PSYCH UP, YEAH YEAH YEAH, GONNA WIN, and just as I started to write my computer went TIME TO HAVE A VIRUS, which rather destroyed my motivation to do anything for the evening. But I still stayed up way later than someone with a baby should, because I am a genius.)

Rachel: I know I shouldn't let this make me feel so very, very bad. It's like, dude, you had a baby. That's /supposed/ to slow you down. But I don't care! -_-

Susan: Not reaching a goal is not exactly the same as losing. It just means the goal was set too high for current circumstances and the height of the goal can be reset. That's what goals and goal setting is about. The act of reaching is always... a good side effect when it comes to goals. Some goals are more important than others. Whenever we miss a goal it is because we chose to work on something else that was more important - which had more desirable benefits. We can't juggle more balls than we have ability for nor can we run faster than we are able. Therefore we just keep swimming, and trying and strengthening and progressing. It doesn't change any facts about particular goals (winning or losing) but it does help us gain experience for our following attempts. You are in the 'spread thin' season of your life. That means you're getting a lot of little things done instead of a few monumental things. It's the same amount of work with less 'to show.' it's called 'motherhood' and it's a 24/7/365 full time career and you are accomplishing it in an amazingly effective and inspiring way. That's what I think anyway.

Leighann: I like to remember that Jo Rowling had a baby and wrote a book... and it took her a year just to write the first one. Don't feel bad about not making the original goal. The point of NaNoWriMo is to get people writing, working on that book that they always put off. You Are Writing!

First of all, as you can see, my friends and mom are awesome and supportive no matter what I do.

Secondly... Yeah. To reiterate, I think it would be deeply unpleasant to try and stick to this insane schedule, and it would give me very little more benefit than trying to finish the book in December--namely, it would give me another little purple sticker in my NaNoWriMo profile instead of a blue one. And...that's about it.

I would really like to relax. I've been longing for it all November, and just getting further and further behind. I love the idea of just resting, playing games with Heath again, watching movies and stuff without feeling guilty about the three hours of writing ahead of me. One hour, though, one hour just for fun and without obligation, I think I can do without hurting myself.

I'll try again next year. Maybe the result will be the same as long as I have young children. As long as it gets me working on it, I'll be doing something awesome. Honestly, I think that my actual fiction prose is pretty mediocre (though admittedly I've been on a steady diet of Bujold for like a year, which ought to make anyone feel inferior). But coming up with what happens next is fun, and I like having an excuse for it. Meanwhile, for an even less time-intensive goal, favoring quality over quantity for once, maybe I could actually try editing one of the books I've already written. Spooky new thought.

And with that, Daniel is awake!