Here's from Me to World

Friday, October 23, 2015

Tabbin'

I had 140 open this time. Ended up just closing most of them, but a few are worth keeping. In no particular order:

Sunday, August 16, 2015

I mostly just post junk on my tumblr, that being what it's for, but two recent things have been journalish, so here's a crosspost.

* On the anniversary of Robin Williams' death
* On a super amazing day

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Tabderp Tuesderp

Hey look! It actually is Tuesday! ... Oh, but now it's not anymore. Oh well.

About once a week for the past month, I've been writing moderately lengthy musings in the status field on facebook, but ultimately tucking them away on my hard drive instead of posting them. I'm musing over whether blogging would be better for them.

Meanwhile, it's time to save some links and make Firefox run faster.

Toki Pona:

Learn Toki Pona in a Fortnight!
Classic Word List
nimi pi toki pona: nimi sama a-k
toki musi
Useful phrases
Big Gus & Little Gus (my first translation attempt)
Mosiah 27 (source for my second translation)

Homemaking:

Medieval:

Paul Butler Music
Cantigas de Santa Maria - #119
Myrie It Is
Neulakko (great hair stuff)
(YouTube) England - Anon. 1265 : Worldes blis ne last no throwe

Random:

Monday, June 2, 2014

Token

There's a ton of stuff going on. And yet...nothing really.

I feel profoundly lonely.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Tabdump Throwback What Day Is This

Big news! I haven't crashed Firefox without remembering to restore my last session since last autumn! Also, URL Lister is working again! All rejoice!

So here are some of the bajillions of tabs I had open. Now I can relax. Ahhhh. (And a note: just because something is in here doesn't necessarily mean I agree with it (or that I don't!)--just that I thought it was interesting. Except, wait, it might not even mean that! I never got around to reading/watching some of these at all.)

Also, I don't really expect anyone but me to pay attention to these. But I'll bold the ones I think are most awesome or fascinating. If something looks like I should have bolded it and I didn't, it may be in the "get around to this" category. X)

Random stuff:

A bunch of poems (some sexy, all amazing):

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Monthings

I did indeed make March a month for, at least ostensibly, working on my game prep stuff, and meanwhile working on not being miserable. Both of those projects spilled over into April, with the latter taking precedence. Both of them are still going on right now, though the crisis is over and the campaign almost is. I had a hard time sticking to them.

But the point of the "monthly thing" is not personal improvement or fulfilling responsibilities! It's a focusing of what comes naturally to me, which is artistic monomania. So back to doing things that are silly!

I have an audition for a musical at the end of this month. I'm taking this opportunity to learn to tap dance.

WOOOOO

I'm tired.

(I should probably talk about some of the April stuff eventually.)

Daniel is four and it's awesome. O______O

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I wrote a poem

Travel light, they say.

Release the things of the world.
Protect your heart from too much handling.
Be your own person.
March to your own beat.
Lay down your burden and be free.

Freedom is enlightenment is zen is detachment is
fluttering like a robin
soaring like an eagle
dancing like a fairy
light and immaterial
leaving no footprints in the snow.

But when I travel

I fill my pockets with spoons and pinecones and magnets.
I bang my heart on the edges of tables like my toes.
I am eleven or twelve people,
Marching six or nineteen directions at once.
When I lay down my burden, I brush its teeth first and close its eyes.
I listen to its endless prattle as I try to fall asleep.

I try to start fresh every once in a while,
to disencumber, to dance free,
but I am who I am:
a giant suitcase, a massive scrapbook,
a lumbering galleon that sails funny empty,
and when I pass through the snow,
I leave the imprint of my whole body.

I travel heavy.

Rachel Spitler
February 11, 2014

Monday, March 3, 2014

Putting feet in front of other feet

Aaaaaaaaaand appointment scheduled. A few days ago I also encountered a fascinating article and TED Talk about the connection between sleep deprivation and mental illness, which now has me putting in a concerted effort to go to bed a full two and a half hours earlier than has been my normal behavior. So far, I've been obedient to the plan, but it's hard to actually fall asleep that early. I think it might be starting to help, though. I'm going to keep it up and see how that improves.

In addition, I started reading the Book of Mormon out loud to my family each night, mostly at dinner time, when Daniel is already mostly sitting still and has his mouth full. :P I'm not explaining much yet, but I've always wanted to have family scripture study be a thing for us, with varying degrees of success even pre-kids. So this is more about creating that habit and making for future opportunities. And also getting Daniel's ear familiar with the cadences of that sort of language. I'm sure he's not understanding much, but already he occasionally asks for the definition of a word or something, so that's fun. This is all stemming from a big BoM kick I've been on in general lately, due in large part to a fun conversation I had with a friend on facebook. More on that in a minute.

So yeah. Some decent days (Thursday, Friday) and some really bad days (Wednesday, Saturday). Today is a good one so far. (Here I interrupt myself to play with a giggling baby, then spend over an hour trying to encourage him to sleep as he becomes increasingly cranky and erratic. Eventually I give up. At least now Daniel has him happily distracted, playing on couch cushions on the floor.)

Anyway. Trying to pile on as many good things as I can and see what sticks. None of the things I'd been trying previously have worked. If the bad days could just be not so very very very bad, and the good days involve more energy for doing anything, that would be enough. It's funny--Noah is 14 months old, which is exactly the age Daniel was when I first couldn't take it anymore and had to get counseling. I guess this age just really short-circuits my brain. (It's a time of strong opinions and poor communication, to put it lightly.)

IN OTHER NEWS:

I actually did end up doing a lot of writing in February! I made progress on my RPG prep, though not on my webcomic scripts. I wrote that talk I posted. Astonishingly, I actually did write a poem, which I thought was pretty good. I got frustrated by a stupid birthday card I was about to spend and ended up composing the world's most ridiculous short story to try and "fix" it. And I put together a narrative timeline of the Book of Mormon for the aforementioned friend. All three of these things I will probably end up posting here over the next week or so.

Now it's March! I don't know what to do hobby-wise for March. I had a vague idea that it would be fun to try to learn to cook, but that idea isn't holding up well in the face of the face of all this domestic despair. Or maybe it would help? I dunno. I think I don't want the pressure right now. The other big thing I keep wanting to do is work on learning a language--either Esperanto or Spanish. But maybe it would be smarter to devote the whole month to my Fate campaign?

It'll probably be one of those things, anyway.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Constantly under assault

All of my logic and faith and optimism and coping skills are totally failing this week. I am a terrible person and miserable. It doesn't matter that they do amazing things every day. I don't know what to do with them or myself. I am out of control and scared. I might need counseling again.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Talk on the Beatitudes

In my church, there's no paid clergy. Everything is done by volunteers, and the work is spread around as much as possible in hopes that everyone will be able to share their talents. Right now, my main calling is that I'm the ward music chairperson, but last Sunday I also got to give a 20-minute talk in Sacrament Meeting.

(I'm not sure it was actually supposed to be quite that long, but the last time I gave a talk I undershot by like 13 minutes and the person after me had to make up that time on the fly (but it was Heath--he can take it). So this time I overcompensated and cut into the next person's time a little. Woops.)

Anyway, the topic I was given was the Beatitudes, which even now I can only spell right on the second try, aaahh. Researching it was a really cool experience (even though it's also always somewhat stressful). In the past, nearly all my talks and lesson plans (and speeches and presentations in college) have been only loosely outlined, with the exact delivery largely improvised. But this time I didn't quiiiite trust myself not to trip over my own tongue and land on the floor in front of the podium, so I decided to experiment with writing the whole talk out word-for-word. It took longer, but I think it was a lot better for that. And it means I can now post the whole thing here!

Other than a few places where I extemporized something minor or didn't want to look down for some reason, this is pretty much the talk I delivered. Obviously, the citations that aren't in the flow of the sentences were added just now (and not quite up to academic standard, because I'm lazy). Looking at it now as I prepare myself to fling it out into the ether, I notice it feels extremely chummy and informal for what people who haven't been to an LDS church service might expect from a quasi-sermon, but that's kind of normal (probably because of the whole lay-clergy thing itself). And it's definitely my style in general, especially when speaking in my home ward, where they've known me since I was a teenager. I do so love beginning sentences with conjunctions.